It's beginning to look a lot like Kissmas...

On December 25th, 1982 I got a Christmas present that would wind up having for the rest of my life.

It wasn’t the 1/16 scale talking Knight Rider K.I.T.T. complete with David Hasselhoff action figure that my mom & dad waited outside Child World in a snow storm to get.


It wasn’t the Tyco electric slot-car track with the cars that had bodies that would pop up when you went fast down the straight aways! That race track died an untimely death when Collie & Sunshine my mom and dads dogs started fighting in the living room basically ON the track.


It wasn’t the G.I. Joe ‘Headquarters Command Center’, which I was devastated about when Santa didn’t bring it. My Godmother however saved Christmas that year when she showed up with it sometime after dinner.


It wasn’t the Aeros-Ace BMX bike that I loved even though no one has ever heard of that company. I was convinced that it was some super high-end west coast BMX company and I was the only kid in New England with one! (I wish I still had that bike!)

*PHOTO NOT AVAILABLE

Nope… it wasn’t any of those things… so what was it you ask? Well let’s just say that even though I was 8 years old in1982 it was my first Kissmas! I don’t really remember any of the other gifts I got that year because the stand out gift was so good. I opened a brand new pristine copy of Kiss Alive II (probably the greatest live record of all time). Not only is it a double LP with a gatefold sleeve featuring a 12x24 photo of the band live on stage complete with smoke, fire and the drum riser towering high over the audience, but there is more to this LP. Kiss were the original masters of merchandising starting in the mid 70’s and continue to be today. So also included with this record was an 8 page 12x12 picture book showing Kiss from their inception in 1973 up to the release of the LP in 1977. There was also an order form with pictures of other Kiss merchandise you could order. This was many years before we would see images of The Demon and The Starchild on coffins & condoms, but you could order some T-shirts, the now classic silver sparkle Kiss logo belt buckle and the Kiss AM/FM transistor radio, which I always wanted (and still do), but was never able to get my dad to order for me. The last thing included was the like the holy grail to any 8 year old budding metal head… Kiss temporary tattoos! It was a small sheet with a bunch of tattoos like the Kiss Army logo, portraits of Gene, Paul, Ace & Peter, a star, a rose and 11 others. These were the kind of tattoos that you had to cut out the one you wanted to use and press it onto a pre-moistened spot on your body, let it dry and then pull it off so you could proudly display your Kiss pride until the next time that you mom made you take a bath.


Somehow 8 year old me saw the future that day. I resisted using those tattoos and can tell you that they are still housed in that same LP along with the book and merchandise order form and the whole package is resting comfortably amidst the rest of my Kiss records which complies the entire discography from the debut LP up to 1989’s Hot in the Shade (including the solo records, The Elder, Killers & both covers for Creatures of the Night). Each LP is sealed in a clear plastic protective sleeve and they are all complete with every merchandise order form, sticker, poster or any other swag that they originally came packaged with.

Ok…. So I have told you about the glorious gatefold sleeve and all the amazing free gifts that were factory packed in with those 2 classic slabs of black vinyl. What I haven’t told you yet is that there was something extra slid into that record sleeve. Two things actually.

Carefully slid into that gatefold through a small slit in the shrink wrap were 2 tickets for me and my dad to go see ‘The Hottest Band In The World’ at the Worcester Centrum on January 22nd, 1983!

I don’t remember my exact reaction, but I’m sure there was slight confusion with these most likely being the first concert tickets I had ever seen. Once the confusion subsided there was probably a gasp of some kind and then an overload of excitement.

I do remember it seeming like I was waiting months for the concert date to arrive when in reality it was only 28 days. I have a memory of lying in my bed with the lights off and waving a flashlight around shining it on the ceiling thinking that I was doing some sort of training for the spectacular light show I knew Kiss would have, but that’s about all. I don’t remember anything else that happened before the day of the show.

The fact that this was 27 years ago means that the memories have faded to some extent, but there are a few things that I can still picture like it happened yesterday.

1 - Standing outside the Worcester Centrum with my dad inline waiting to get in. I remember feeling even smaller than I actually was with the legions of denim clad, face painted heshers standing in front and behind me. I remember it was cold out and that the air smelled funny. The smell was something that I wouldn’t encounter again until I saw Alice Cooper at the Providence Civic Center in 1987 and then again the first time I saw Jimmy G. from Murphy’s Law singing ‘Who’s got the bong’?

2 – The opening band who for years I remembered as being Def Leppard, actually turned out to be Night Ranger. I don’t remember if they played ‘Sister Christian’ although I assume they did, but I do remember a rockin’ song called ‘Don’t Tell Me You Love Me’. It took me some years to find that song again, but once I did it made it on to my ‘favorite rock songs of all time’ list.

3 – Paul Stanley’s introductions to ‘Firehouse’, ‘Cold Gin’ and ‘Ladies Room’. I’m sure I remember these because they were near identical to the ones on the Alive II record, except I was there to see them live and in person. I also remember Paul wearing the Kiss fire hat. I don’t know if it was the one that says “Humper Captain” or the one that says “Kiss Engine 3”, but I clearly remember the fire hat along with the sirens and red lights reflecting off the smoke.

4 – I’m not sure exactly what tour this was, but the line up was Gene Simmons, Paul Stanley, Ace Frehley and Eric Carr all in full costume & make-up. I assume it was around the ‘Creatures of the Night’ album, but I’m not sure. I do clearly remember that the stage was a giant tank. The sides of the stage had big treads and the drums were on a huge riser that was shaped like the turret of the tank with a bunch of extra pipes that expelled smoke and sparks at different points in the show. During the drum solo the entire drum riser moved forward so that the turret was hanging out over the first 15 rows of seats. At the climactic ending of Eric’s seemingly endless drum solo the pipes bellowed smoke and the turret launched a huge explosion of smoke and confetti covering the floor of the arena!

5 – The most vivid memory I have of the concert is the bass solo. The one and only Gene Simmons standing on the huge tank stage all alone. The entire room dark except for a single red spotlight beaming down on him like a beacon from hell! A huge distorted rumble filled the air, followed by complete silence. Then another rumble and more silence. The rumbles started coming faster and faster and the silence began to be filled with screams & cheers. Suddenly the rumbles were almost constant with no silence and the cheering was louder as I intently watched, eyes glued on The Demon, not even daring to blink and then there it was… A massive flow of blood coming out of Genes mouth, staining the ‘Steins clown white’ make up that was already beginning to melt off his face, splashing his chest armor and then across the strings of the mammoth sized axe shaped bass guitar he wore more like a warrior then a musician. Then as fast as it had started, it was over and the stage went completely black.

As if I wasn’t already, after the concert I was hooked and I made it my mission to spread the word about Kiss to all the kids at the, ironically a catholic, grammar school I was attending. I would bring the ticket stub from the concert to school with me and would wear my ¾ length sleeve Kiss 1983 tour shirt to gym class at least once a week. Unfortunately for some of the kids, but fortunately for me it was around this time that a big rumor spread that Kiss were Satanists and that K.I.S.S. was actually an acronym that stood for Knights In Satan’s Service. As far as I was concerned, that just made them even cooler, but most parents didn’t agree with my opinion (luckily mine didn’t seem to care if they were Satanists or not). So when the kids at school were forced by their parents to get rid of their Kiss records and T-shirts they gave them to me! One of my friends that was forced to forfeit all his Kiss records actually started collecting Abba records at the suggestion of his mom…. Yuck! So many years later it’s thanks to that rumor, that I have doubles and triples of some of the early Kiss records!

My obsession with Kiss may have faded a little over time, I mean how can they expect me to show the same dedication when they have 2 different guys dressed as Peter Criss and Ace Frehley. Let me say for the record that there is only one Catman and there is most definitely only one SpaceAce! That being said, I do still sing along proudly to all my favorites and Kiss Alive II will always hold a special place in my heart and it’s partly in thanks to Kiss that I wanted to learn to play an instrument and I picked bass guitar because Gene was so cool.

So thank you Mr. Gene Simmons for over-merchandising your band of uber-rockstar cartoon character! Thank you for Kiss Mr. Potatohead, Kiss hotwheels cars and Kiss action figures. I thank you for Kiss Meets The Phantom Of The Park (Ack!) and I even thank you for The Elder…. Thank you.

The Kingdom full of Jokers...

I spent most of my early teen years wasting time at a roller skating rink on the weekends, yet I think I only actually skated a handful of times. Roller Kingdom was ‘thee’ place to be on a Friday night in Woonsocket, RI, especially if you were a ‘metal head’. There was a group of ‘the regulars’ that included Dave, Ray, Neil, the other Neil, Ronnie, Brian, Ramob, Big Hans (who was later dubbed Muppet), Little Hans (who the hell has 2 friends named Hans?!), Sean, Jeremy, Al, Leigh and a few others. There was also a small group of girls (Mary-Ellen, Becky, Janet, Malda, Allison, Wendy & Lauren) that found some entertainment value in sitting around at a roller rink on a Friday night. For the most part we just hung around eating crappy pizza, playing video games like ‘Demolition Derby’, ‘Stun Runner’ or ‘720’ and just waiting, hoping, begging and praying for them to play a ‘real heavy metal’ song!

So you had about 10 guys all dressed in their own way, yet obviously in some sort of uniform that more often then not included black jeans (the jeans that had some sort of ‘stretch’ to them so they were kind of tight), a heavy metal t-shirt also usually black (generally of the persons favorite band, a band they were lucky enough to actually see in concert or a shirt they had recently picked up among the pipes, spoons & bongs at Buddha’s Bazaar). Hi-top basketball type sneakers (usually white) with insanely oversized tongues or classic tan work boots covered pretty much every ones feet and the uniform was topped off with either a denim jacket covered with patches & pins of assorted metal bands or the super rare leather jackets which were generally only worn by the ‘leaders of the group’. We all longed to have a leather jacket, but it was much easier to convince mom to buy a denim jacket (usually black) that would wind up frayed & torn because it looked cooler that way, then it was to get her to buy a leather jacket. Christ you probably had to go all the way to Lincoln Mall to get a leather jacket! Don’t even get me started on the couple of guys that wore the leather jacket with the sleeveless denim over it… what a badge of honor that would have been to wear!

Most of the night was like standing in line for hours waiting for the Ticket-Tron booth at Sounds Abound to open so you could be one of the first to get tickets for whatever act Frank J. Russo was bringing into the Providence Civic Center the following month. Yeah, it was just lots of sitting and chatting about what the best video Riki Rachtman had played on Headbanger’s Ball the previous week. Repeatedly calling the newest person to the group a ‘poseur’, the one word that always got a rise out of a metal head! Discussing at length this thing we had all heard about and seen on Mtv called ‘slam dancing’. See, like I said, lots of waiting….


However the waiting was over the minute some ones ears perked up at the first few notes of the bass intro to ‘Peace Sells’ by Megadeth, the first bell peel at the beginning of ‘For Whom The Bell Tolls’ by Metallica or the holy grail, the opening guitar slide of ‘Toxic Waltz’ by Exodus. The moment one of these songs started there would be a mass exit of the snack-bar or arcade areas and 8-10 male teenagers ranging in age from 13-18 would literally run and leap over anything in their way to get to the first section of 12x12 coin operated gym lockers that lined the length of the skating surface, which was by no coincidence located directly under one of the giant p.a. speakers. Once every arrived a circle would form and everyone would ‘assume the position’.

One leg forward and one back like we were doing stretches for an upcoming Olympic hurdle event. Left arm bent upward at the elbow and right arm hanging down around the waist as we pretended to be playing some sort of pre-historic mammoth sized guitar. Every ones head pointed toward the center of the circle and bobbing up and down, hair swinging up & down, swaying side to side all in unison to the beat of the song, sometimes double time if it was a slower song.

That’s right ladies & gentlemen… we were not only metal heads, we were ‘head bangers’ and we took out titles very seriously! Immediately after a song ended people would scatter almost as fast as they had gathered. Some back to their pizza or video game, some to chat up the girls again and some made a B-line for the bathroom mirror where they would pull out a hairbrush that I have no idea how they fit in the pocket of jeans that tight so they could make sure their locks were flowing the proper way before they returned to their chosen waiting area for the next song to start .On a real good night if the DJ played 4-5 real metal songs you would wake up the next morning with a sore neck. It was a hell of a work out!

Ok…. Now I know that in hindsight what we were doing was ridiculous and we looked even more ridiculous doing it! What you have to keep in mind is that we were in Woonsocket and some of the guys came from Bellingham or Blackstone (there’s ONE stoplight in Blackstone… seriously!) so we didn’t know about seeing these bands. We didn’t know that 20 minutes up route 146 in the Mecca that is Providence there were bands like DRI, Kreator, Overkill & Nuclear Assault playing at places like The Living Room and Club Baby Head. Most of us didn’t get to see Metallica, Megadeth or Anthrax until they were playing arenas.

I don’t see many of the Roller Kingdom headbangers anymore and even when I do they are a shadow of their former selves. Much like Samson they have cut their hair and lost their strength. I do still smile when I’m in the car trying to sing the bridge part to ‘Liar’ by Megadeth, screeching along to anything John Connelly sang in a Nuclear Assault song or humming the bass line to the Metallica version of ‘Crash Course in Brain Surgery’.

I’m glad that there’s no video taped evidence of it, but I’m happy that I have the memories to laugh at myself about.

Stay Gold.... Pony League....

In the spring of 1987 I was on the Christopher's Restaurant team in Woonsocket Pony League Baseball. I don't remember what number I was, but I do remember that the jerseys (t-shirts) were maroon with white print. It wasn't actually a silk screen print it more more like heat transfer letters, but of a higher quality then you could get done 'while you waited' at T-Shirt City in the Lincoln Mall. Probably because Christopher's Restaurant is located on North Main street across from Turfer which did embroidery, screen printing and all sorts of stuff!

I actually went to Turfer a few years later (around 1990) and had a custom made 'Howard Beach Batting Cages' hat made based on my love for the first Biohazard record and my desire to make light of a tragic event that involved a racially motivate beating and at least one death. (Yeah, I've always been an asshole, but I used to be worse... sorry!) Anyway, that's another story....

So its spring, 1987 and I'm on a baseball team. I had never played baseball before. I knew how to catch and throw and I had been to some batting cages before, but I never played on an actual team. At this point I was 13 years old which seems pretty young now, but at the time was actually pretty old to start playing an organized sport. Most of the other kids in the league had been on teams for 5+ years and knew each other as well as knowing a lot more than I did about baseball.

Being a fan of (mostly the bad guys from) Star Wars & G.I. Joe I thought that guys with masks were cool so obviously it was my dream to be a catcher (no gay jokes please) but with VERY limited baseball skills my dream was not to come true and I generally found myself in right or left field where I seldom, if ever, had to actually field the ball.

Now hitting was a slightly different story. Being 'new to the game' I showed up to games with my classic black WOOD Louisville Slugger! I didn't give it a second thought really. I mean baseball bats are wood right? Well, not in little league/pony league! Being the only player in the whole league with a wooden bat, in addition to being slightly large in stature (read as fat) and having long hair made me stand out a bit. So with the WWF being at one of its peeks, following Wrestlemania III and my appearance being as described as above I gained the unflattering nick name of "Hacksaw" (based on the wrestling character Jim 'Hacksaw' Duggan who would carry a 2x4 to the ring with him). It would be borderline chanted by the opposing teams as a taunt and I hated it, especially since I thought wooden bats were the standard and I didn't even totally get the joke until it was explained to me. This fueled me to find something in the game I was good at. Fielding was obviously out and I wasn't that much better at hitting, but I was aware of it and caught on to something that made me more valuable to the team. In my second or third game I got hit by a pitch and thought to myself.... "that didn't really hurt very bad!". From that point on I would crown the plate like no ones business and my 'on base percentage' went through the roof! I hardly ever got a hit, but I almost always ended up on base.

The Christopher's team didn't make the playoffs that year and I didn't continue playing. My baseball career started and ended in 1987. The only reminders of that time were some time spent in high school Spanish class with Joey Fugere (the first pitcher that hit me with the ball) and any time I drove by the DiPardo Funeral Home because Steven DiPardo was the catcher for the team and only player to make the pony league all-stars, and his parents owned the funeral home.

I guess I wasn't destined to be a baseball star because it was only about a year later that I discovered 'punk rock' and went to my first hardcore show at the Living Room (Murphy's Law, Low Meato & The Wurst) and the rest is history.